I find an elementary school. A kid asks me if I’ve played Super Mario Bros. 7.
“Don’t take me for an ordinary man. Although I am an ordinary man.” ~a townsperson
I visit the roof of the school elementary, where I see a volcano with a bunch of smoke pouring from it. Not ominous whatsoever.
I also meet Lloyd here. He’s a wimpy kid who gets picked on and likes to play with explosives. Not a good sign.
I find a hospital with a sign advertising the doctor. Whether I’m dead or alive, I should see him to keep healthy! … o.o If you talk to Old Sawbones Benny and refuse treatment from him, he tells you, fine, go ahead and die. He says he’ll call a mortician for you.
So, I go to the Sweet Little factory to get Lloyd a Bottle Rocket because Ninten’s just that kinda guy. We get the bottle rocket and Lloyd says, “Onward, to the lab!” Where he promptly blows up the lab. And we – are – outta there!
Dammit, Lloyd starts at level 1!
After getting him equipped, it was time to fight a stray dog guarding a factory. I showed it the pass I had picked up from the ground, but its wily eyes determined that the pass was expired, and thus I must be attacked!
The Duncan Factory was bland and long. Still, there were plenty of hard enemies there to keep me busy. And I got to fire a rocket at some rocks. Lloyd – he does explosions.
It’s weird that you can die from catching the cold. But you can. And there are a lot of random NPCs around whom can give it to you. It’s funny but, at the same time, it makes you not want to talk to NPCs.
Then there’s the bag lady. Hideous woman in a red dress carrying bags; random enemy!
One of the NPC townfolk gave Ninten $400 if he wouldn’t tell the police about it. Cha-ching! Kinda weird, though; why’d he just give Ninten that money? Oh, hey, I found a police officer whom was asking about him. I told him I saw the guy, but then he’s like, “Oh, he must have gotten away. Well, I’ll go check for parking violations now.”
I encounter a girl named Ana whom has psychic powers and she joins me because I have her hat. Just as her dreams saw! Excellent reason to go globetrotting.
We visited an Old Man, over 300 years old, whom has never caught a cold. After finding his dentures beneath a sign (because, well, why not put them there, right? And build a sign… because… they wanted me to find them? They had some weird sign-building OCD? It was all a test by a crazy old man?) Anyway. When you next talk to the Old Man, he gives you all the Mouthwash you can carry. I’m serious. He fills up every open character slot with Mouthwash, an item that cures the cold. Since this item is almost useless, it’s better to sell it for $85 a pop. Then you can buy more from him for just $10. So it’s an infinite money making machine if you’re willing to go through the endless purchasing process.
Then there’s Spookane (hah, you see what they did there? With the – the Spokane – and now it’s Spookane – haha… I’m sure it was hilarious in the 80’s.)
Spookane (*rolls eyes*) is notable for the many abandoned buildings and the empty streets swarming with monsters. There’s also a Starman maintaining the only hotel. He’s nice enough to let you stay there, at almost no cost, before fighting you at your full strength. So apparently the invaders aren’t that smart.
There’s a mansion filled with zombies, ghosts, madmen and possessed things like armor and dustballs that explode into fire. Let me tell you, the possessed armor is a bitch. I don’t think they playtested it very well. Lots of hit points, high damage, high initiative, magic spells, and they sometimes come in pairs. You’ll learn to run from them, of that you can be sure.
At the bottom of the mansion, you find the haunted piano. It plays one of the tune’s that Ninten needs. Sweet.
Next, a visit to the Yucca Desert. For science, or something or other.